another showroom.. another interior!!!

I will try to send more pics guys!!! Just wait for now...

some of my interior design

These are some of my sample designs... i hope u like it!

THE POEM UNDER PRESSURE!!!

Another Night for inventory but this time it is in our Showroom in Sharjah, UAE. I arrived there with smile on my face and thinking that Im not that pressure about my life here because its fair enough. But then, around 2Am, July 6, 2007 when I started to sit on the rag section and all of the sudden my mind became empty.

I was also looking to someone but it seems he's blurred but when he came in front of me, it was my boss asking me to do the work since its very late and we have to finish our inentory. But prior to that... Im not just looking but instead Im thinking! Creating a poem base on my feeling that night!

I hope that you like the poem that i wrote and it really has my full emotion and I dont know why.... Maybe you may analyze or if your a poem addict, you can send a comment and interpret the entire poem....

here it goes...

MIDNIGHT

by: Me

Some part of me is soon to di,e

Some part of me is soon to fly,

It makes me weaker,

It makes me wiser.

Love is killing me far away from home,

Love is giving me hope for goal,

Goal that losing

Goal that dying.

Sunrise, Sunset

Sometimes, Some left

Sickness, I felt.

Each flowers that blooms,

Turns red doom

Is it the end?

Is it depend?

Oh God! I felt,

The love is melt.

I, soon to die and cry

I think what's the reason why

I try, I tie,

I cross, I hide,

I walk, I sight

The morning light

Try to hide

the feeling inside

Now, I cry

I dont know why....

THE PRIDE!!!!

Well its month of July and the Gay Pride around the world are now starting but some just finished with a very wonderful parade!!!

It is very essential to be part of this parade and celebration!!! It is the time when all of the gay people in the world start to unite and fight for the freedom, equality and diversity that we wanted long time ago!!!

In the Philippines, still, the gaypeople are not that united because of the inside discrimation (meaning: they discriminate each other) and this is a very sad fact that we need to admit! I attended the gay pride party last 2004, 2005 & 2006 and i miss this year's gay pride party... Thou most of them attend the party to look for someone to hook up or someone to meet for possible one night stand or a one night for forever romance.

To tell you honestly, one reason why I joined Mr. Gay Philippines 2007 is not only for the position or for the title just to come to US and c0mpete for an international competition but to show the world that we homosexuals can be a role model and give a positive image in our own community. Im a hidden activist, you know?!!! But thats my mission i think... Not only to accept, but to be visible to the public that we also need the same right that the straight people have...

Right now... its really hard for me to go and fight especially if you are in an Arab country where gays are not allowed.

Thou I miss this year's pride, I beleive that accepting myself as a real, true gayguy.. I know that deep within I commemorate and proud that I belong to this community... But then, I ask many gay people to support the projects, objectives, mission and vision of our community and be united so that we can live equally and have a great life not only for ourselves but in the future with ur partner and family...

HAPPY PRIDE EVERYONE!!!!

Happy Parent's Day!!!!

I left the country last May and Im not able to greet my mom a happy mother's day but then I always love her no matter what happen from the past. There are times that I dont understand here and more often we have this arguments but still she's still the one and only mom in my life.

Also, Father's day just past by and i remember my Father in the Philippines which i consider my inspiration towards all of this... Im proud to have a father like him... because he's a simple yet wonderful father. I always dedicate my stuff to him because he's not just ordinary... He is an inspiration to me... Thou we have several misunderstanding and some problems but still he is my father and will ever be my father till i die...

I remember them now that Im out of the country for almost 1 month and 15 days and they are my inspiration and now i appreciate all of their teachings and guidance . I experience heavy works here and I can tell you that it is really not a joke... Everything are serious and delicate but we should know how to handle it well...

When I was a child, mom taught me how to cook, clean adn arrange home... Everything should be right!!! Everything should be clean!!! and Everything should be fast!!! thats what she told me... Now, I realize that it will come to the point that I will going to use it again... now, that I will face my life alone, now that i will watch my journey towards success and to the pass my goal, it makes me feel that everything is realiable, that everything is true...

She is right! mom is always right!!! She knows everything when it comes to her own children and here I am facing this journey alone but eager to survive and only have my experience to support me and guide me towards the end of this tasks... Im so thankful because I have these wonderful parents... they both taugh me how to become more powerful, able and capable in any challenges that life's throw to me...

I always love you Ma and Pa, thou Im far away from you... You're always in my heart and my mind.. also in my prayers and part of my success.... Thank you so much for being there always!!!

I love this wonderful song... Thou my father is still alive.. I love the message of this song entitle: DANCE WITH MY FATHER... by Luther Van Ross

It is very wonderful and the message of the song is totally awesome!!! I also wish u like this song!

here it is:

LUTHER VANDROSS LYRICS
"Dance With My Father"

Back when I was a child,
before life removed all the innocence
My father would lift me high
and dance with my mother and me and then
Spin me around ‘til I fell asleep
Then up the stairs he would carry me
And I knew for sure I was loved
If I could get another chance, another walk, another dance with him
I’d play a song that would never, ever end
How I’d love, love, love
To dance with my father again

When I and my mother would disagree
To get my way, I would run from her to him
He’d make me laugh just to comfort me
Then finally make me do just what my mama said
Later that night when I was asleep
He left a dollar under my sheet
Never dreamed that he would be gone from me
If I could steal one final glance, one final step, one final dance with him
I’d play a song that would never, ever end
‘Cause I’d love, love, love
To dance with my father again

Sometimes I’d listen outside her door
And I’d hear how my mother cried for him
I pray for her even more than me
I pray for her even more than me
I know I’m praying for much too much
But could you send back the only man she loved
I know you don’t do it usually
But dear Lord she’s dying
To dance with my father again
Every night I fall asleep and this is all I ever dream


[Thanks to Levigamer@yahoo.com for these lyrics][ www.azlyrics.com ]


I also dedicated this song to a friend of mine whose father pass away last month (june)... Im sure He will be strong!!! Just stay good my friend and now its time for u to be the eldest son!


---------------

ONE NIGHT IN ABU DHABI!!!

It was really great to experience different things in life... You have the chance to do everything as you want most especially when you own ur own time!

I was so happy last wednesday because our team will go to Abu Dhabi for another inventory moment! I was so excited that time and I called one of my bestfriend who is now in Abu Dhabi.... He is my elementary and high school best friend and since he's in Abu Dhabi for more than a year, we decided to meet!

I woke up so early and give my self a chance to prepare for this expedition. My friend Charles, Debbie and I decided to leave the accomodation house around 6:00am because we are afraid that we're not able to join this moment. I brought a new sleeveless clothes and my white pants for my evening party in Abu Dhabi.... I heard that the night life there is so wild so i decided to bring cool stuff for me to enjoy it very much and have the best of it....

In this moment of time, I wish that my special someone is with me so that we can enjoy to moment together and enjoy Abu Dhabi as a city that marks the map of the Globe. Anyway,
we arrived at the workplace around 6:30am... and around 6:35pm we leave the place and go to Abu Dhabi.... It was me, Charles, Pabs, Cid and our boss driving her car on our way to ABU Dhabi.

It was around 9am when we arrived at the Abu Dhabi Mall and we had few minutes rest and after that we did our job as usual. After an hour I called my friend and told him that I'm in Abu Dhabi that time and at least we have the chance to enjoy the city on the following day. Anyway, I feel so excited and great because I have this opportunity and i feel good about this.... I was so happy....

Well... around 9pm when I asked my boss if she will allow me to go around 11pm so that I can phone my friend and adjust his arrival.... But she refused!!! She said that I am not allowed to go because we still need to finish everything... We still need to finish the inventory.... and yes! we finished it... around 2:30am, friday. My friend and I is really pissed but i have nothing to do but to obey... its a job you know!!!!

I feel so sad but we should understand it... It is difficult if you are in a different country and its hard for you to do what you want to do especially when someone is holding you like a puppet!!!

One night in Abu Dhabi is kinda unforgettable.... Think the film TERMINAL.... when Tom Hanks is not allowed to go out to see the entire NEW YORK.... Thats what i felt that time.... A gayguy who cant go out because of the rules and etiquette of work.

The Inventory moment!!!

Well.. it was really tiring yesterday but it was fun though... it was very interesting to experience this moment.... We've been to Batuta and Wafi mall.. to do an inventory together with my collegues... it was fun of course because it is another task to accomplish... I thank God for this challenge...

Aside from the inventory experience, I also stroll the mall (BATUTA) and look for different stuff.. make me think that i wish that someday they will bring me in this hotel because of the ambiance and the crowd.. very interesting!!!!

Guess what?!?!! They have a very interesting Rest room... hehehe a chinese concept restroom and it looks really wonderful....

It was fun and challenging... Hoping to experience more "eksenas"... but im sure it will be more eksena soon...

This coming two weeks it will be more eksena and more challenges... aside from the 300 trucks and furniture to come... it will be another inventory moments... This time.. Abu Dhabi and the Workplace (Sharjah)... It will be busy but then.. always have time to inform you...

MY DREAM

I have 15 mins to deliver this blog and this is kinda interesting... Well... I know that it is really hard for me to develop things now that im far from the country called Philippines... I left my friends and family there just to experience this once in a life time experience... I feel great about this.. but sometimes I feel tired because of the tasks that Big Brother gave me... but im sure i can manage to do my duties and responsibilities...

Aside from thinking of my Guy far away from home, I also think many stories, scenarios, and dreams... because I want to grab this opportunity for me to create a short film or even a documentary about life of a gayguy here in this country!!! i know it will be hard and tough but then after all.. one thing for sure is that... I will join this film in an Independent film awards in the near future... Aside from that... Im also thinking of having my own photo exhibit in the near future... But for now.. aside from my workss... i will try to put some time just for me to create this dream and make it happen.... A Short film or a photo gallery... Well... in that time, im sure that i am more establish and recognized....

Anyway... Im just sharing you my thoughts because its really great to write something especially about your dreams!!!! I just wish i have more time and ideas for me to accomplish this...

goodluck for me and Im welcoming all ur comments and suggestions... thanks!

THE PHOTOS OF ME AND MY COLLEGUES HERE IN SHARJAH, UAE

Well.. becoz of the connection... im not able to show u all the pix here in sharjah, UAE but then... i will let u see my friendster in the future... just ask and i will give... but this time... its just a pix of me in Ajman... an open beach!

Another pix of me is when we arrived at Dubai's Airport... UAE is the 2nd country that i visited and this time... its all about work!!! well... The pix shows my first time... hehehehe ....

The next picture of me and my collegues... We enjoy the night swimming after our work last thursday... it was really great to stay there, thou of course, we need to go early becoz friday is rest day and we need to do many stuff every friday... from washing our clothes, to shop and rest of course....

Well... its really hard to live here becoz of less leisure but more working days but eventhough I have that lifestyle that i will enjoy for two years.. I know that God is always there to keep me doing these....

I miss but i missed!

i just dont know... i dont know what to write!!! i think im paranoid!! help me! Give me more power to understand everything!!! i just feel sad deep inside!

The Hardship of Life!

When I decided to travel and work here in Sharjah UAE... I know that it will be a huge adjustment, heavy jobs and hard time.... All of those things are already in my mind.. But then I promise to myself that I will set a plan for myself and for my future...

Well... Im sorry if im not able to put some blogs this past few weeks... well one reason is that, It turns arabic everytime i type my blogs at thats extra adjustment for me.. So it takes time for me to formulate english words...

Anyway... I like it here... It gives me great opportunities.. a great life... a wonderful future!!! but then I know the fact that its not all about money... Its about happiness, sometimes! right?! But then... Its already program in my mind.. How are u able to give happiness to the person you love (family, friends, special someone) if u dont have anything to make them happy... ???

I know that many is not the basis of everything... But it gives color.. it gives ambition.. it gives life... These are the things that makes me work hard for me .... and for my future!!!

Well.. I had a very busy week... After I met my General manager, meet new friends and collegues it makes me realize that "Im really here in middle east... working hard and claiming as a CERTIFIED OFW..." its kinda odd you know.. its kinda low class stuff but then i learn to love it... I know that there's no problem being OFWs... the next line will be as "HEROES OF OUR NATION"... but those are true... When u get here.. when u travel and work here.. U know that its not enjoyment... its not pleasure but pure hardwork...

But when I realize everything that im already here... and i already adjusted... It doesnt matter if u are bachelor's degree or a university graduate... its all about hardwork, dedication, movation, focus and what do u want to achieve after few years time... That matters!!!! It is!!! beleive me.. it works...

But then... If you just think and miss philippines.. it makes u weak, depress and makes u want to come back home... but when u realize that there's no life in the philippines, that there's no money there... Well.. thats anotehr thing for u to work hard...

I know that when I left Philippines.. I left my heart there... with my family, with my friends and also with you... (you know who u r) your words makes me feel im just next door or just next city woroking hard... well-motivated for me to finished this contract and be home with u... thats the fact!!! thats why i keep thinking of you... I keep saving all of your messages so that I have this vitamins to stand erect, work my feet and smile everytime i feel tired...

Its funny you know!!! Its funny when u leave someone u love in the philippines and the following day u both miss each other... its really funny when you think your future together and how it will goes in the future...

Its really hard in here... its really hard when I think life here.. but everytime i think of you... Everytime u send me messages... everytime u say the words... Those are the things makes my day lighter... I know.... Yes!! I know im deeply in love with you... and I hope we can wait for the right thing... until the time we meet again... I totally miss you! I totally think that one day... I'll be home... with u... I'll be home with someoen i can call my HUN.... my love...my sweetheart...

This experience is one of the most memorable experience that I ever have... Its about life, dream, ambition, motivation and experience.... Its about building ur ownself... building your life and making ur dream come true!!!

sometimes, its now about luck.. its about hardwork! its about performance! its about you! and its about your future will be!!!

keep it up and u will see the light!!!

Is this the moment that I am waiting for???

Is this the moment that I am waiting for?!?!?! or just a dream???!!!!

When my sister asked me if I want to work abroad, i told her that I am interested but make sure that my job is not as a call center agent.... I am not against about that job but I just dont like it... Anyway, after the pageant (mr gay philippines), I realize that it is really time for me to settle down when I know to myself that I found the guy that im also waiting for...

This time I asked myself... Is this just a trial or a joke?!?!? Is this really what God want for me??!!Why does he needs to do that, now that He knows that I love this guy...What I am talking about is when I finally met the guy and at the same time career abroad knocks to my door and asked me if I want to travel and work as a Visual Merchandiser.

When I finally received the news that I am FIT TO WORK... I cried and think of the things that I will gonna miss when I leave the country... Although its really hard for me to decide, but then I chose to work my papers and process it and leave the country as soon as I can.... So that no more heartache, no more homesick and no more relationship that will grow and develop... but then ... its not really easy... It is not really easy when you know that you are already attached to a person that changed your life, your style, your future and your beliefs...It is wonderful to think that I feel this feeling again...It is a great feeling when you know that someone love you and vise versa....

According to my sister, I might leave the country on or before 12th of May and now, I only have few more days to spend it to my family, friends and to him... Because I really want some quality time with him and I want to enjoy the moment of us being together ...

We plan,
We talk
We think
and
We will Sacrifice...

These are the things that we do... Thou soon we will sacrfice being together but we hope it will be for our future life being together... I also asked my sister if it is ok if she work out on my loveone's papers, so that we can both go there and work and save some $$ so that after 2 years or so..we can return and start a good business of our own, built a good family and have a great home....

Isnt it wonderful that this time you are not thinking of urself anymore but instead you are dreaming and wishing to have a best life with someone you love in the near future... I must admit im madly inlove and i think loving someone is also consider as a BALANCE of everything...There is one time when my conscience told me... "having a relationship is not just giving your heart, your time and your effort.... also you need to live! you need to work and you need to earn and live for your future..." which is totally true... I want to live life with enjoyment... not just sorrow but of course we need to work for us to live...

BUt there is sometime when It think..."Is he my boyfriend now??" "When is that?!?!" I hope that its real.... I know he loves me...and he knows I love him but I just dont know and feel when he will be mine... I just dont know when will I able to call him MY boyfriend... MY partner...???I dont know...Cause this time i dont want to initiate... I just want to hear him telling that I am his boyfriend....

Its just like... I dont want other people thinking that Im just claiming if I introduce him to our common friends as my boyfriend... I just dont like the idea of " I KNOW HE IS MY BOYFRIEND.." but what if other people asked him...and answered..."we're just friends..." It is hard to accept?!?!? right?! I know I am not that good in terms of relationship coz I know to myself that most of my relationships are totally failed and not a good thing to remember....

I know that life is cruel...
I know that life is a struggle
I know that life is full of sacrifice
I know that life is painful...

But when you face these and when you feel these... You know that you love... because when you overcome those trials by improving how much u love the person... It means that you know u've been into a very hard time.. but then... no regrets because you know u gain something and you learn something from it...

I LOVE YOU.. u know that... i just dont want it that way... I also want u to feel that...
I might not be perfect but willing to learn
I might look not serious but i also want to talk more stuff
I always listen and im happy you talk
I also want to talk and share... but i hope you are listening and understanding...

Dubai, UAE is kinda far from the Philippines and it will take 2 years after I come back... I told him that he has the time... he has everything and I will make sure that when I return... I still going to love him and I will prepare for our futre together ... I hope he will feel the same thing...

All I Ask is to ...

LOVE ME...

BAKIT???

Hindi ako makapagsulat!!!!

Nakakainis..

Ang hirap ng ganitong Feeling!!!

Nakakainis..

Nakakaiyak....

Wala akong magawa...

Pero whatever happen Lord... kung ito ang kagustuhan mo... I'll follow...

Pero Lord... please dont let him go away...

MR GAY Philippines top 10

U....

"You become my inspiration... You give me reason to live life.... You give me chance to see my life in a brighter side... Help me to forget you!!!!"

--- jhayvee

WHY????

Last night I sleep around 8pm and woke up around 10pm because my mom texted me... And after that text, im trying to sleep again but its really hard for me to sleep because Im thinking for many things... I dont know where to start but it really makes me feel so lonely and my life is like a roller coaster because of the problems and the thoughts im thinking this past few days....

I dont know... everything is like a problem with me at the moment... its really hard for me to establish myself because of many circumstances... I wish I can solve this... i just wish!!!

WHY????

Last night I sleep around 8pm and woke up around 10pm because my mom texted me... And after that text, im trying to sleep again but its really hard for me to sleep because Im thinking for many things... I dont know where to start but it really makes me feel so lonely and my life is like a roller coaster because of the problems and the thoughts im thinking this past few days....

I dont know... everything is like a problem with me at the moment... its really hard for me to establish myself because of many circumstances... I wish I can solve this... i just wish!!!

FACES.... & CHARACTER.....

AM I done?!

Am I done?!!?!? Am i done with my life of being single?! Am i ready to enter to a new relationship?! How am I able to work it out?! Is he the one im waiting for?! How sure i am? How sure he is?!

Too many questions bothers on my mind this past few days ... It made me realize how lucky I am to experience this problems, struggles and enjoyment...It means that Im a certified HUMAN BEING...

I know that life is very hard and very unpredictable... U dont know who will come your way.. or who will u gonna meet at the end of the line... Sometimes, it is better to dream than to see the reality of life... Sometimes it is better to keep your eyes close than to see what will going to happen next... But no doubt... that is the beauty of life and I thank God for that!!!

We are all lucky to have this life and I know God has his own way on how to please us... how to give what we need in life... what type of problem that He's going to give... We are lucky becoz we are alive... we live... we enjoy... we struggle... we cry...and we are here to share the bounty of God.. The blessings and the life that we have...

But how about my life that Im longing for?! how about the heart that im looking for? how about the nights that i'm there alone looking for someone to cuddle, someone to touch?! It made me feel so sad?! It made me feel thats my life yesterday, today and tomorrow... Am i just lonely?! How about my happinesss???

Am I Happy?!

For me.. Happiness is having someone next you.. someone that u will have for the rest of your life... someone that will give u heartache, headache and stomachache but still he's there living with you...loving you... making u sad, making u smile and making u proud... Happiness is how you will epxerience the sadness with the person u love the most... Happiness is how you will cherish the moment u r in the middle of magic... Happiness is the moment you both enjoy what u both looking for...

Happiness is YOU...

My happiness is always be you...

I dont know when you will come to me and love me... I dont know when u will approach me... I dont know... but then... I welcome you... If you found me as your happiness... I hope i make u happy... I wish i can make u happy... and i hope it will be forever...