When you will know if you are happy?! When you will know if the person besides you makes u feel Happy?! When you will know if you both enjoy being together?! Is it just a dream?! or it is just a fantasy?! Life sometimes help us to understand that even we are rushing things, still there are times that God makes everything into slow motion. I know you will ask me, what is the connection of Hapiness with slow motion?! To tell you honestly, I dont know... I just feel it... and for me i define it very f antastic.... but somehow drastic.... Hay!!!
March17 is a much awaited day of my life because on this day, there are 21 candidates that will buy for the title as Mr. Gay Philippines '07... Right now, i must tell you that i'm doing my best to compete and im doing my best to be the best on that night but then, it makes me feel that everything running fast.... few weeks ago, Im just preparing my stuff for that competition and today, i need to count days just to present myself into large public and tell the world how gay i am... Yeah! it is a form of preparations and motivations to move forward and think of the possible result of that competition... BUt then on... i met this guy.. He is gentle lovely man... at first He dont even recognize me or even dont like to look at me.. but then after giving up someone f rom the past it makes me beleive to the statement that " If someone close his door, Someone will open their window" and i think that it is 1000% true...
He started to talk to me and he started to know me and vise versa.... I dont know his feelings towards me but i guarantee you that i like him the first time i saw him because of his e yes, i think. another factor is that he's being so nice and gentle person... thou i know that he is kinda bitter but i know that it will heals the wound as the time goes by... He might not be the perfect guy but i believe that he is a guy that i can love and enjoy to have with....
Speaking of Slow motion... I feel that when we r together, everything is fantastic and i just feel it that everything is slow motion... but when i see the clock hanging on the wall.. or even the clock on my mobile phone... it made me realize that the time is going faster... I just dont really know how am i able to stop it and make it slow motion but i think thats how we appreciate the moment that u spent time together ... Not that precious or even perfect 1 but a very interesting time that u feel the happiness being with him...
I know that you will think that I'm very much into fantasy, lovestory, & romance and you will tell me that I should wake up and open my eyes to reality... Well... im real... im just inlove, i think. But, i know it is not the basis of love and i dont want to rush things just to get his attention or later to love and live with him... but to the fact that i like him... i can live with it... i can wait as long as i know that he will allow me to wait him... I can be his love if he likes to love me... I can be his friend or even a worst enemy... but then... All i want is him next to me...
For now, I know that we are in a "Getting to know each other" position and i know how hard to adjust and to love ... but then.. that is love, right?! sacrificing urself and asking yourself what love is all about... giving urself to him, giving ur time and effort if it is really necessary...
I'm not younger anymore and i know that... I know it is delicate to appreciate someone because u dont know what is on back of his mind.. But now i learn how to wait.. and like what i always said... im willing to wait... just let me know until when...
I dont know what will gonna happen after the competition.. I just wish he seriously like me... or he make some way for me to stay.. because i will... I know everything will be unpredictable that night and i must prepare myself into that result...
But if u want to ask me... I'm just here... will try to wait you...
